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“You don’t know me, but I need to tell you a story that’s been stabbing deeply into my chest.

You see I’m… I’m what you would call a country. No, I’m not a huge mass of land caused by the movement of tectonic plates; I’m a personification of those masses. I won’t tell you which I am, only that I’ve lived for much longer than a lot of the other countries. And I… Well… I have a secret that I’m not proud of.

I… I killed a man.

To be honest, I’ve killed a lot of men. War after war and the callous bloodshed will never end. But this time was different.
This time it was another country.

Now you see, when two countries fight in a war, once their boss has died or given up, the country will fall to their knees and admit defeat. But not this time. This time, the country I killed disappeared before my eyes… And almost suddenly, the land mass of which they represented had been divided into the countries surrounding him, making them grow older, wiser, and stronger.

I remember the war well… It was centuries ago, yet it is one of the dark time which stick so drastically in my mind. You have to help me. You have to let me tell this story. Usually, I’m the type to seem carefree and enjoy my everlasting life, but I have secrets, and I have experiences I wish to let go and destroy. One of these experiences is the death of a country I was responsible for.

I killed him.

I just wanted him to stop before he became too strong to take over, only to fall through his own damn power! … Like the Great Roman Empire… But instead I… I stopped him from even growing into a beautiful country. The thousands of people who once lived innocently in that country’s arms… They all died because of me.

What’s worse was the life this country had beforehand. I knew him pretty well, and we got along fine until he started hurting my little brother. But, even when he was bullying him, he only did it because he couldn’t express his true emotions. His tender love for my little brother. What if my little brother had gone with him? I would have had to attack them both.

I’d rather die than hurt my family.

Every night during the war, I’d wallow in self hatred, but my boss had made his words final. There was nothing I could do but follow. Our eternal life is nothing but an eternal slavery to the humans who live. Once one dies, a new one follows. Most of the time, the bosses are quite well presented and can take care of us, but every now and again, one who wants to change the entire face of the world shows. This time, he wanted to use the power the other country was claiming in order to do as such.
He wanted me to rid the country for good. So that’s exactly what I did.

When my sword pierced through his child-like pale skin, I knew something was wrong. As the deathly red blood stained the ice metal like a sickly canvas, I remember my eyes widening in trepidation. What had I done?! The paling of his cheeks, and when he craned his neck to face me – to see who had brought his demise – had told me the answer.

I killed him… I killed him! I fucking had killed him!

SOMEONE GET ME OUT OF THIS NIGHTMARE!



I’m sorry, I… I don’t mean to raise my voice… I’m just so full of self-loathing that I tend to break, despite trying my hardest to cover it up… Most people believe I love myself to even say I’m a narcissist. Not like my actual narcissistic friend, but close. The truth is I hate my decisions. I’ve done so many things that I’m not proud of, and this is one of those things that I so desperately need to confess.

But the one person I need to confess to… Is my little brother. He doesn’t know what happened… But how can I tell him? Please… I couldn’t bare to see him cry, to see him mourn… Or for him to hate me for what I’ve done, even if it was an accident.

I just need a way out…

I need a way out…

A way out…

Because I’m a trapped boat setting out in stormy seas. Not even my sails, my moat, or my frame can save me. Someone needs to fix me. I need to be repaired. But the only way I will no longer need repairing is by calming the drastic ocean waves.
The waves of my emotion. The waves of my memories. The waves I’m forced to ride until my death.”
This is a short story I decided to write on my train journey to work. The whole point was for me not to tell you who it is, but give you... Subtle (Totally subtle) hints. Who do you think is making the confession, and about who?

I might make another soon actually... Since I got another country and his confession in my mind.
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:iconprincessautumnarcher:
PrincessAutumnArcher Featured By Owner Jan 31, 2014  Student General Artist

Gorgeous! This just tore at my heartstrings  and the way you portrayed onii-san's pain was just so beautiful, and---:iconsobbplz:

So, I'm going to be honest here; at first, I thought narrator was Prussia, but then when I got past 'little brother' and saw 'child-like, pale skin' in reference to the enemy, I thought, "Italy! Ding!" and then (since I actually do enjoy history, contrary to what most of the fandom would have people believe), I remembered Napoleon and the whole revolutionary wars and the Napoleonic Era, so I must say that you have destroyed my feels :iconfranceplz:!

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:iconxlilslayerx:
xlilslayerx Featured By Owner Feb 1, 2014
Aw, I'm so sorry, poppet! :iconcomfortplz: But I'm glad you liked it. Honestly, I very much enjoy history too, which is what I use for most of my Hetalia stories. Anyway, you got the entire thing perfect~ But...

:iconcrycryplz: Mon amour!!
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:iconprincessautumnarcher:
PrincessAutumnArcher Featured By Owner Feb 1, 2014  Student General Artist
Yay! Francis is just so ridiculously, perpetually attractive in all ways, and your writing just makes him even better! You, chérie, have an amazing gift! The angst, though, reduced me to tears...now I'm going to read the French version that you posted and probably melt into a puddle of France-obsessed tears...~^^
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:iconxlilslayerx:
xlilslayerx Featured By Owner Feb 1, 2014
It's nothing like how utterly amazing your work is though! Also... *o* Do you actually speak/read fluent French?
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:iconprincessautumnarcher:
PrincessAutumnArcher Featured By Owner Feb 1, 2014  Student General Artist

You're so sweet!

Weeellllll......I'm not fluent, by any means, but I am in an advanced level French program at school and I study on my own too, since I really want to take this school-sponsored trip to France and you have to make a high enough score on a standardized French exam that's actually by native French professors and such, so....Hehe, in summary, I can muddle my way through most things with about 90% accuracy. :iconsweatplz: I don't know all the tenses though, so my skills are a bit limited.

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:iconxlilslayerx:
xlilslayerx Featured By Owner Feb 2, 2014
That's still so amazing~ >w< I dropped French back in school, so I'm trying to teach myself now. Which is why I upload the stories; people who can speak French can show me where I've made my biggest mistakes so I can remember for next time.

But a school-sponsored trip to France? That's so cool! My school didn't get those sort of luxuries lol. I just know you'll get awesome results and will be able to go~!
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:iconprincessautumnarcher:
PrincessAutumnArcher Featured By Owner Feb 3, 2014  Student General Artist

Haha, well, your mistakes are pretty minor, so good work! If you ever need any help, just ask; I'm happy to lend a hand!

Aww, you're so sweet! I think that if I ever go back to England, for whatever reason, I will seek you out and glomp you repeatedly~! (Please don't take that creepily, I'm not really sure how to convey humor over the internet...):XD:

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:iconxlilslayerx:
xlilslayerx Featured By Owner Feb 3, 2014
:iconiloveyouplz: Thank you so much~!

:XD: Actually, I was going to suggest that when you go to France, you can make a pit-stop here so I can forever glomp you~! (=3= You'd never creep me out. I'm usually the creeper. >w>)
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:iconchocolateturnip:
ChocolateTurnip Featured By Owner Jan 31, 2014

I think I've got it. France is narrating. He killed the Holy Roman Empire in the Napoleonic Wars. And he knows that he has to confess it to Italy, the one HRE was in love with.


(Great story, by the way. Nicely written, well-placed angst that wasn't too over the top). 

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:iconxlilslayerx:
xlilslayerx Featured By Owner Jan 31, 2014
:iconletmehugyouplz: You got it PERFECT~! YAY~!! And thank you so much! :meow:
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:iconchocolateturnip:
ChocolateTurnip Featured By Owner Jan 31, 2014
Yay! Historical accuracy for the win :). And you're welcome. I'd love to read more of these 'Confession fics' if you feel up to writing any. If you need inspiration, feel free to send me a note and I'll give you some ideas.
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:iconxlilslayerx:
xlilslayerx Featured By Owner Feb 1, 2014
Aw~ Thank you! I do actually have a second one in mind, and I can work around quite a few. :) Thanks for the offer too, I might take it up someday :D

But right now, I'm going to be converting this story into French, and then do the second idea I have (and convert that one also). It shouldn't take too long.
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:iconchocolateturnip:
ChocolateTurnip Featured By Owner Feb 1, 2014
Awesome; I can't wait to read them. It'd be great to read the French too, since I'm trying to learn it.
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:iconxlilslayerx:
xlilslayerx Featured By Owner Feb 1, 2014
I'm trying to learn too, so this is just practice. Lol, don't use my story as a reference for practice, will you? It'll be full of mistakes after all...
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:iconchocolateturnip:
ChocolateTurnip Featured By Owner Feb 1, 2014
(Posted twice? Whoops, didn't intend that.)
And it doesn't matter if it has mistakes in. How else can we improve ;)? It'd certainly be better than any English to French translation I could do. So difficult!

(Look at us, two British FrUK fans trying to learn French, eh? Francis would be so proud.)
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:iconxlilslayerx:
xlilslayerx Featured By Owner Feb 1, 2014
( :XD: I hope so, I have a mildly worrying obsession over Francis)

Also, I managed to complete it... But apparently my verbs are wrong. :iconsweatplz: Ah well, you're right though. It's the only way we can improve is by practicing~ :meow:
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(1 Reply)
:iconchocolateturnip:
ChocolateTurnip Featured By Owner Feb 1, 2014
Awesome; I can't wait! It'd be great to read the French too, since I'm trying to learn it.
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:iconskye-42:
Skye-42 Featured By Owner Jan 31, 2014  Student General Artist

Ok Narcissist.

 

France, Britain, and Prussia.

 

France doesn't have a brother, as far as I know, so it would either be Britain or Prussian.

 

Germany and America would probably be the said brothers.

 

But as far as I'm aware of, (Now don't bash me if I'm wrong) Germany wasn't around when Prussia was.

 

So, by elimination, the character in question is Britain.

:iconyayenglandplz:

 

 

Anyways, amazing story!!! :heart:

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:iconxlilslayerx:
xlilslayerx Featured By Owner Jan 31, 2014
Thank you so much~! :meow: You did have the person I was writing during this, but unfortunately, not England! :) But if that's who you'd like it to be, then that's fine by me too X3
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:iconskye-42:
Skye-42 Featured By Owner Jan 31, 2014  Student General Artist

..Then it's Prussia. Right? XD

 

Hehe, anyways, you're welcome! ^^

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:iconxlilslayerx:
xlilslayerx Featured By Owner Jan 31, 2014
It's not Prussia either X3
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:iconskye-42:
Skye-42 Featured By Owner Jan 31, 2014  Student General Artist
holyromanempire, France?
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:iconxlilslayerx:
xlilslayerx Featured By Owner Feb 1, 2014
That's it~ :D
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:iconskye-42:
Skye-42 Featured By Owner Feb 1, 2014  Student General Artist

Oh... OHMAHFUUUUDGEICANT- SDCVBNSBVDFGHJDZBHSGVBJASKAIKNJSM.

 

 

I finally get it. Fuck I'm stupid. ;w;

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:iconxlilslayerx:
xlilslayerx Featured By Owner Feb 1, 2014
You're not stupid. =^=
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(1 Reply)
:iconpokeplierxx:
PokeplierXx Featured By Owner Jan 31, 2014
I feel Romano. And I don't know why. I feel like Romano killed Germany. I'm probably wrong, but...

Gah, this is really well written though!

God those feels thou... :iconrightinthefeelsplz:
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:iconxlilslayerx:
xlilslayerx Featured By Owner Jan 31, 2014
Thank you~ :meow: And I can see how you think so. A very unique answer, but not the person I was portraying during this :) It's okay though, since it's your opinions.
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:iconpokeplierxx:
PokeplierXx Featured By Owner Jan 31, 2014
Meh. Perhaps I need to re-read it and try to work it out. It's going to kill me not knowing! Does the character have a canon little brother, or just fanon?
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:iconxlilslayerx:
xlilslayerx Featured By Owner Jan 31, 2014
Heh, he does, and both are common characters, but not many seem to realise they're related because it very rarely gets mentioned :meow:
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:iconpokeplierxx:
PokeplierXx Featured By Owner Jan 31, 2014
Oooh, so now I'm thinking Spain and/or France... They're related, but it was only said once in the anime... DID FRANCE KILL ROMANO?!
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:iconxlilslayerx:
xlilslayerx Featured By Owner Feb 1, 2014
:O Spain and France are related? Huh?! O.O ... =.=||| Well, I need to brush up on my history.

However, this event, historically wise, did actually happen. Would you like me to explain? :meow:
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:iconpokeplierxx:
PokeplierXx Featured By Owner Feb 1, 2014
Yeah. In Chibitalia (anime) Chibitalia sees Spain is upset. The narrator woman says something like 'big brother Spain is upset' Right? At another point in Chibitalia, Chibitalia says 'I want to show my beautiful drawings to my big brothers France and the Roman empire, and another big brother who's name I don't know because I haven't met yet' My point being, Chibitalia says that France is his brother, and we know from the Narrator that Spain is his brother too, and because they share a brother that makes them brothers by default.


Ooh, yes please!
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:iconxlilslayerx:
xlilslayerx Featured By Owner Feb 1, 2014
By default,I guess that does make a lot of sense. Thanks for explaining that to me :) To be honest, you've scratched over this entire story's narrative without noticing. You even mentioned 'Big brother France', along with Italy/Chibitalia and Holy Roman Empire.

HRE leaves Chibitalia in that episode to fight the war, right? That war is the Napoleon Wars, which means he's fighting France. There's a comic which hasn't been shown in the actual anime (I think it may have been a deleted strip) where France returns from the wars and tells Italy that "Holy Roman Empire is no more". Although there is no real proof, a popular belief is that it was actually France who had killed him. Because France is the country of love, to kill his little brother's first love would of course affect him a lot (in my opinion at least), hence unable to tell him the truth. That's where this confession comes in.

:) I hope I explained it all okay.
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(1 Reply)
:iconninjacrab456:
Ninjacrab456 Featured By Owner Jan 31, 2014  Hobbyist Writer
Dude. Narcissist. The most obvious hint. France, Britain, or Prussia. Bam
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:iconxlilslayerx:
xlilslayerx Featured By Owner Jan 31, 2014
Awesome guesses, and it's one of those three.
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:iconninjacrab456:
Ninjacrab456 Featured By Owner Feb 2, 2014  Hobbyist Writer
Oh yeah! That's all I needed. Thank you.
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:iconshadowraven45662:
Shadowraven45662 Featured By Owner Jan 31, 2014  Hobbyist General Artist
I feel like this could apply to any nation, England... possibly France or Germany... Its really really well written :) i love it! 
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:iconxlilslayerx:
xlilslayerx Featured By Owner Jan 31, 2014
Thank you~ :meow: I can tell you that it's one of those three. Good guesses~
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